Life Governed by God  
Name: Tak Tanaka
From: Japan

Preface
Once again I want to receive God’s revelation through His word and preach it to people just like I used to do. This is the desire that began to well up in my heart recently. I think something in me must have died on the cross. What is it that died? It was my strong attachment to the self-seeking life which I inherited and couldn’t put to death no matter how hard I tried.

Since I left my pastoral ministry six years ago, I have been led to stand before God alone where no pretension works. And before His presence, God revealed to me where the reality of my faith had been standing on. What I saw was that there is a big part of me singing, “I’d rather have the riches of the world than Jesus.” I think God’s light was shone upon my darkness which I did not realize for years. But it was the working of God’s Spirit. And in His grace, my intrinsic nature that seeks nothing but my own life was crucified that I may be filled with the life of resurrection.

“Resurrection always comes after the cross.”

I have often heard of it from my pastor. But it was not his word. It was the word of Paul sent to the church of Corinth.

4:11 For we who live are always delivered to death for Jesus' sake, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh.

No openings for a good job
I would like to share with you what has happened recently. 6 years have already passed since I left a church planting ministry in Kamakura, Japan which I was involved in for previous 12 years.

Seeing miraculous healing that took place to my wife, we ventured out on a new journey believing that God would provide for our needs again. However, things did not go as I had expected. I was hardly equipped with any practical job skills I could use to make money after spending years in a church ministry. So it was very difficult to get a job that would provide enough for our needs. But I realized that there is one practical skill left to me. It was my bilingual ability. I had a confidence in my English communication ability since I spent years in the English environment. To add to my experiences in my resume, I even challenged the first grade practical English skill test sponsored by Japanese educational ministry and I passed it, and got a certificate. With this officially recognized certificate, I thought I would be able to get a teaching job that would provide enough for my family. But in spite of all my efforts, no job was offered to me. As my resumes were turned down so many times, God confirmed that He was not leading me to go to this direction. I wondered that besides using my English skill, what else left to me to make a living. I can not keep working at a post office with 990 yen an hour ( about $10 an hour) I did not know what to do next. Right at that time, we received a financial gift from one of my wife’s friends suddenly.

The dream she saw
Why did she send me a financial gift suddenly without knowing much about our situation? The reason was the dream she saw. According to her, in her dream Jesus appeared to her and directly spoke to her many things. One of them was to give a financial gift to one pastor and Takayuki Tanaka. She took His word literally and sent me money. This must have been an amazing thing, actually. Yet, my heart did not move much because my concern was more about how to make a living. But hearing the words from her friend, my wife, Kayo said to me, “Would you share the revelation of God’s word with me and Jun again?” At that time, a month had already passed since we started our Sunday service at our home.

God’s calling

Mark 8:34
When He had called the people to Himself, with His disciples also, He said to them, "Whoever desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.

God gives a new life to those who put their trust in Jesus Christ and calls them to carry out His plans on the earth. He is saying to all Christians, ”Follow me”. The Lord leads as a shaperd leads his sheep to the green fields. However, there is one thing we need to do. That is to deny oueselves and take up our own cross. Unless we do it, it is impossible to follow Jesus. We can never forllow Christ unless our strong ego that only seek its own way be destroyed on the cross. But it’s result is the life Jesus wants to give. I think the Bible is full of this death and life principle. But who by his own will and efforts can crucify his attachment to self-life onto the cross as Jesus did? That was my problem. However, the Bible says that there is nothing impposible with God.

“I need to protect my own life. I need to make a way by myself to get out of this situation.” In spite of my effforts, God closed every door for me until I said, “ God, that’s enough.” And I gave up just Like Jacob who wrestled with God all night and was defeated. Yet, that is the way to live a new live governed by God. To be defeated by God is not the defeat but the victory and the beginning of the new life.

To save life
Jesus said, “ For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel's will save it.”

What is this life Jesus is talking about? I believe it is the new life God creats in us. It is the life which has a very different nature from our natural lives we inherites from our parents. When we are dominated by this life, we begin to live for a very different direction from the one we used to live for. In another word, this is the life governed by God. I think that is what it means to save life which Jesus is talking here.

2:20 "I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.

Going back to my calling
I heard the Lord calling me to go back to my first calling, which is the ministry of the Word of God through my wife’s words. Since then, the desire of my heart was changed 180%. Now with my decision to go back, I feel the life of Jesus is welling up in me and His power is driving me to keep writing this letter even without enough sleep.

The Lord is calling everyone of His children and equipping them through life’s various situation that they may learn to deny himself and take up their own cross. That is the amazing plan of God, which I have experienced recently. I know it will continue. And He will complete it until the day of Christ. That is unshakable belief Paul had.

1:6 being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;

There will be the day of Christ Jesus. God is going to use all things in life to make us His bride through His cross to be welcomed by Him. For that pourpose, God promised that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

Brothers and sisiters, I just wanted to share God’ grace displayed in my life.

Tak Tanaka